I Can Do All Things ... But this Fupa
It is story time ladies and gentlemen, so pull up a seat and follow along …
Picture it. It’s 2011 and I am one step closer to taking the big leap into marriage. I earned my Masters, he proposed, I found a job and we had a place to stay. We just needed to walk down the aisle to make it official … you feel me?!
At this time, I was still on the creamy crack so I made an appointment with my beautician so the naps would be flat as everyone bustled around preparing for the big day. While sitting in the chair and doing the usual chit chat, she mentioned that she admired my ability to speak things into existence. I heard the phrase before but it was usually paired with a biblical context and a person with evangelical capabilities so I had no clue how it fit on my resume.
With confusion, I asked what she was referring to. She stated “Think about your graduation dinner. You stood in front of everyone and said your exact plan for the next two years and boom here we are. You literally said it and it happened!”
“Hmmmmm,” I said to myself as I began to run the receipts in my head. Maybe I do speak things to existence. But how? And when? In a way, my mom used to attach me to this characteristic. She said I would always make grand announcements. I had no problem sitting with my parents and letting them know my plans. And the over the top theatrics came with it for free.
Dear mother and father, I have decided I am going to run for Miss Paine College. I have never been in a pageant nor campaigned for a position but I’m doing it.
Dear mother and father, I will be attending the University of South Carolina to get my Masters. I have not submitted my application or taken the GRE but I’m going.
Dear mother and father, I am going to work at a university in student affairs. I do not know who's hiring but I am going to get the job.
Each time I sashayed my hips into the room with my GRAND announcement, my mother would roll her eyes and say “Oh lawd!” and exert a deep sigh. She knew if I said it then it was time to buckle up shawty because I’m going full steam ahead. I was unable to articulate this as a child, however I now recognize the need for my plans to have sound. Reverberating my plans into the ears of others ultimately turned my dreams into decisions. And a professed decision requires the expectation of action. While others heard the announcement then saw the celebration, those closest to me knew my walk would change. They knew a shift was coming. I would have to increase this and decrease that … block out this and grow closer to that … take time out for this while sacrificing that. The actions required a mental and physical shift. The announcement was a time for me to get my house in order but also an opportunity for others to prepare for the shift.
It is 2021 and I feel a shifting in my spirit. The ease of making my announcements have been stifled. While the black southern belle wants to proclaim “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” These Bojangles biscuits and Texas margaritas are saying naw sis. They continue to point out the demons I’ve been trying to avoid like a toxic ex-boyfriend left on Read. The reality is my mental and physical health has never been a priority … unless something happens. Ya’ll know how we do. You only call on the Lord when you need him. Well we do the same with our health. I am not waiting for the diagnosis or the breakdown. I will be the best me starting YESTERDAY and I am punching the dashboard! All brakes and no gas. With N’Stylegia as my muse, I am cultivating the body I want to have. I am cultivating a mental space that brings me peace. I am going to be Erykah Huxtable. Creating a space for moments filled with educated incense and prosperity in my outcomes. This new shift is a whole vibe.